Now, this is a super complicated question and I know that men come in every shape and size, and so I’m not trying to stereotype or put labels, but more so kind of lay a foundation or baseline of what it looks like, and definitely what it doesn’t look like, to be the “man of the house”.
So, the first thing that I think it takes to be the man of the house is that the man of the house works.
That’s not to say that they have to work outside the home and that maybe a stay at home dad can’t be the man of the house, a stay at home dad absolutely can be a man of the house, because they work, they have a function, they contribute to society,
they contribute to the family.
When I say that the man of the house works, that means that the man of the house is not a freeloader, that the man of the house is not somebody who just hangs home and plays video games and collects checks from government assistance while their wife or their spouse or their mom or somebody else takes care of them and their home.
The man of the house is a care giver. He’s a care taker. He’s a provider. So that’s the first thing, that I think it takes to be the man of the house.
The second thing I think it takes is that the man of the house has a vision.
A vision for himself, a vision for the house that he’s the man of, a vision for his family, a vision for his friends, a vision for his community. He’s a community builder. He lifts people up. He seeks out to help others. He knows where he’s going and where his family is headed in the direction.
That’s not to say that he has a five year, 10 year, 15 year plan, no. That means more so what kind of family or what kind of community he’s going to be a part of, not necessarily how they’re going to get there, meaning are we going to be a compassionate community? Are we going to be a strong community? Are we going to be a giving community?
A man of the house has visions as to how they’re going to proceed forward.
That said, the man of the house, I keep saying family, the man of the house doesn’t
have to be a husband, the man of the house doesn’t have to be a father, the man of the house can be just a man in the community that is a provider.
The last, but probably most important piece that a man of the house has to do is that he has to be a servant leader.
Simon Sinek says that leaders eat last and the man of the house is not somebody who pushes other people out of the way in order to get his, the man of the house instead lifts other people up so they can get theirs. He makes sure that everybody has enough. He makes sure that everyone is taken care of. He makes sure that everyone is safe and feels included and he makes space for everyone to fit in.
That’s the job of the man of the house: to be that servant leader. He makes sure that everybody gets fed and that’s not to say that he goes without because the man of the house makes sure that there’s enough for everybody. A man of the house is inclusive, he’s not exclusive.
And so, for all those guys out there who desire to be that man of the house or maybe those guys that haven’t been that but that it’s time to change…
Also, for the women out there: Who are you looking for? Are you looking to find
a man of the house? Because this is what a man of the house looks like.
That’s not to say that he takes care of everything, no, no way, because the man of the house knows what his vulnerabilities are and he knows where his blind spots are and he’s self aware and he is able to ask for help because nobody can do it on their own.
So, the man of the house is somebody who implores help and asks for help not just when he needs it, not just when he’s physically incapable of doing it himself, but also to include others nd pass on what he knows to those other people.
The man of the house has apprentices and he’s a mentor and he wants to show people what he does, what he knows, in order to make their lives better and in order to, you know, teach a man to fish.
So, get out there. Be the man of the house and know that the man of the house is always growing.
Until next time.